The Missing Scenes
by Kagome2004
Summary: Ever wonder what happened between Dearka and Miriallia in the scenes they don't show?
1. Default Chapter

The Missing Scenes from Gundam Seed

A/N: I'm a big Dearka x Miriallia fan and I couldn't help but wonder what might have happened between them. Thus was born this fanfic.

A/N: The following scene takes place during/after Phase 33. Miriallia visits Dearka's cell in the brig. He was moved there after the attacks on him in the infirmary. Dearka reveals that he was not the one who killed Tolle. Let the story continue….

"_He was in a Sky Grasper."_

"_Sky Grasper?"_

"_A fighter plane. A blue and white one…"_

_He paused as he thought for a moment. "It wasn't me," he finally said as he lay back down on the cot._

"_Well, what are you waiting for?" he continued. "Hurry up if you're going to kill me."_

His words stunned her for a moment. She was still looking at him when she spoke. "I… ….I don't want to kill you," she said.

Dearka sat up and leaned towards her, a puzzled look on his face. "Hmm?"

Miriallia continued. "I don't hate coordinators. One of my best friends is…" there she broke off. With a shake of her head she continued, "….was a coordinator."

"_Was_ a coordinator?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"He's listed as MIA." She slowly turned away from him with her head lowered. "Listen, I came here….to….apologize……for earlier."

His eyes opened in surprise. Apologize? She was going to apologize for trying to kill him? "Not that she wasn't provoked or anything," he thought sheepishly. He remembered his words, and if he had known _why_ she was crying, he would never have said them. He wasn't _that_ insensitive!

But she wasn't finished. "I guess I snapped," she said softly. "I kept telling myself that Tolle would be found alive and everything would be ok. But when you said…..what you said," she said with a wince, "I knew it was true. He is gone." She sighed. "I guess I just lashed out." She raised her head and looked in his eyes. "You couldn't possibly have known. I'm sorry that I hurt you." She bowed to him with the final words of the apology.

Dearka was transfixed by the words of this girl, his eyes wide in disbelief. Here she was, humbly bowing before him, apologizing for her actions and acquitting him of all wrongdoing. Once again, as in the infirmary, he felt strangely touched by her. He stood and walked closer to the cell door. Without looking at her he said, "You…..you don't have to apologize to me."

She looked up in surprise. "Yes, I do!" she said with her eyes wide. Her eyes drifted to his bandaged head. "Does it hurt?" she asked softly.

It _did_ hurt, but he just shrugged and said, "Not much." She already felt bad enough, he reasoned. He didn't want to add to it. Clearing his throat, he continued, "Look, I accept your apology. Please….please don't think of it anymore." He raised his eyes to her face.

She straightened at his reply and looked him straight in the eye. After a brief moment of silence, she said "Thank you," and turned to walk away. He caught the glint of tears in her eyes and thought it wise to say no more at this meeting. He heard her footsteps and the opening and closing of the door.

He stood still for a moment, not believing what had just transpired. Still in this state of disbelief he sat down on the bed. "What a strange girl," he thought. It was understandable that she would grieve for her boyfriend if he had just been killed. It was understandable, too, that she would want to poke his eyes out for belittling that grief, even if it were done unknowingly. But apologize for it? To the enemy?

Dearka considered what he had always thought of naturals. It was never complimentary. But this girl caused him to think differently. She may be a natural, but….there wasn't anything _bad_ about that. Maybe she didn't have all the abilities that he had, but she really wasn't all that different.

He thought of the orders that he had followed blindly up until now. "Kill all naturals." He had always embraced that order without a second thought. Now it struck a discordant note inside him. He sat silently for a long time, deep in thought.


	2. Chapter 2

The Missing Scenes from Gundam Seed

As writers, I know you understand how a story sometimes seems to write itself. I found that as I explored the missing scenes, I began to make my own interpretation of some things that are shown, but I, unfortunately, have not viewed yet. So some of the chapters will include encounters that may occur differently in the anime or manga, but as I have not seen those episodes yet, I had to make it up based on summaries I read on the internet. The following chapter is such an encounter.

**A/N: The following takes place during Phase 37**

Miriallia noticed the extra food tray and asked the cook about it. "Oh, that? That's for the ZAFT prisoner. I guess no one has taken it to him yet. Looks like he's gonna starve," he chuckled to himself. Miriallia did not see the humor in that and began to walk away slowly. "He _is_ the enemy," she told herself as she walked out of the mess hall. She stopped just outside. Heaving a sigh, she turned around, took the tray off of the counter and began the walk back to the brig.

"I didn't think I would be coming this way again," she thought. "But enemy or not, he deserves to be treated humanely."

Dearka had finally been able to ignore the rumblings of his stomach and fall into a doze. But not before he had cursed all naturals for leaving him like this. ZAFT would never leave a prisoner to starve! All kind feelings he had been having for naturals disappeared in the emptiness of his stomach.

He roused at the sound of the door opening. He considered getting up to see who it was, but decided against it. "Who cares?" he brooded. "I'm in no mood for socializing."

A voice startled him out of his resolve, along with the smell of food.

"I'm sorry this was so long in coming."

He shot up at the sound of her voice. She was back? Yes, there she was! The cute brunette with gorgeous eyes. "Eyes that shouldn't be full of tears," he thought.

She set the tray down and stood back up. He was still staring at her. His mind replayed their past encounters as his eyes took her in. He stood by what he had said at first glance. She really was a cute girl.

"Why is he staring at me?" she wondered, beginning to feel irritated by his gaze. "What are you staring at?" she finally asked, testily.

"Uhh, nothing," he stammered, embarrassed. "I was……just not expecting to see your sweet face again." Inwardly he cringed. Did he really say that out loud? "Uh-oh," he thought. One look at her face told him that he had definitely said the wrong thing.

She glared at him with an insulted look on her face. "Sweet face? How dare you?" she fumed. Dearka fumbled for something to say. "Umm, I'm sorry. I mean, 'Thank you, Miss," he stammered. Unfortunately for him, it did little to satisfy her anger.

Still seething, she replied, "My name is Miriallia. Not 'Sweet face' or 'Sweet' anything! Got it?"

He gulped and nodded. Even though she was angry, he was secretly pleased that she had told him her name. Despite himself, he smiled. "Miriallia, is it? May I call you by your name?"

His manner surprised her. And irritated her further. Furrowing her brows into the strongest glare she could manage, she pointedly said, "No, you may not." She turned on her heel to go. "Don't choke on your food," was her parting shot.

Boy was she angry! He knew he should not egg her on, but he wanted her to stay, at least for a few more minutes.

"Hey, wait a second. Please?" he called after her.

She turned back to him in a huff. "What do you want?"

Excellent. He had her for a few more minutes. "Could you tell me what's going on? Where are we? Weren't we just in a battle? And when will I be released?" he asked, the questions pouring out of him. He really did want to know, but he hoped the questions would keep her here just a little longer.

Her anger abated, but only a little bit. Of course he would want to know these things. "We _were_ in a battle, just outside the Alaska base. It was against the ZAFT forces. But then everyone had to flee the Alaska base because of the Cyclops System that was activated there."

His eyes widened. "Cyclops System?"

She nodded, and continued. "Many people were killed," she said softly. She paused again as if lost in thought, and let out a sigh before continuing. "As for our current position, we are in Orb territory. And I know nothing about when you will be released. We're not allowed to leave the ship either." He could just catch her profile. "I'm sorry I don't have anything else to tell you." With that, she left the brig.

He stared at the door, thoughts once again swirling through his head. The smell of the food found its way to his nostrils and broke his trance. Picking up the tray he sat down on the bed and began to eat. "What happened out there?" he wondered.

Walking away from the brig, Miriallia was still fuming. "Jerk," she thought. "Who does he think he is? Calling me 'Sweet face' as if he was hitting on me? Slime ball! He's nothing like Tolle……Tolle." She leaned against the nearest wall and slid down, her anger taken over by the intense sadness. Tears came to her eyes and she did nothing to stop them from falling down her cheeks. She hugged her knees close, as if the pressure would ease the pain in her heart. "Oh Tolle. Why aren't you here? I miss you so much." Her last thoughts before letting the grief take over were, "Nothing will ever be the same. Never."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks so much for the kind reviews. This is my first time to post, so I was a little nervous. And don't worry, I have plenty more "missing scenes" in mind, so I won't be stopping soon.**

**The following takes place during Phase 38**

For the second time that day, Milly walked to the brig. She had been there earlier to deliver Dearka's breakfast. Captain Romius had assigned her the responsibility of attending the prisoner. "I guess I brought that upon myself, bringing it to him the first time," she thought. "At least he's more respectful now." But this time she wasn't carrying a food tray. She held in her arms his red pilot suit. She had been ordered by the captain to release the prisoner, as they were about to, once again, go into battle.

"This war is so strange," she thought. "First, we're a part of the Earth Alliance forces fighting the ZAFT forces. Then the Earth Alliance tries to kill us. Now we're fighting against them to protect Orb who developed the mobile suits that were stolen by ZAFT in the first place." She shook her head as it became too full of all of the circumstances that had led them to this point. "Well, he'll be happy to have his freedom, I'm sure."

Inside his cell, Dearka waited on his bed. It was nearing lunchtime and that meant Miriallia would come with his food. It was a little pathetic how much he looked forward to meal times. Sure, the food was pretty good, but it was nothing compared to the pretty girl who brought it to him. He shook his head trying to get rid of those thoughts. She was still the enemy and he was being held here against his will.

"Not completely against your will," a little imp in his mind snickered. "You like this girl and want nothing more than to see her and try to get her to talk to you," it continued. Dearka narrowed his eyes. "Shut up," he said. He was startled to hear the door open. He reddened, hoping she hadn't heard him talking to himself. "Why?" the imp chuckled. "Are you afraid she'll think you're crazy?" Man, this was getting annoying!

To his surprise, the door to his cell opened. He sat up quickly as he saw her approaching the entrance to his cell. Was she actually coming in here with him? She was! And hey! She was holding his suit!

Without ceremony she tossed it to him. He caught it with a puzzled look on his face. "Why are you giving me this?" he asked.

"You're being released. We will be engaged in a battle soon. The captain is allowing you to go free." With that, she turned to leave. Dearka scrambled up from the bed to follow her.

"Hey—wait!" he shouted after her. "What battle? What's going on?"

Milly continued walking. "I just told you. The _ArchAngel_ is about to go into battle against the Earth Forces. There's no point keeping you on board so you're free to go."

"The Earth Forces? But…but this is an Earth Forces vessel. Why are you fighting _against_ them?" he asked.

"Because they are going to attack Orb," she continued with a sigh. "They have been pressuring Orb to join with them against ZAFT, but Orb has refused. So now, the Earth Forces are going after Orb, too."

Dearka was incredulous. "What! Darn! Naturals are so stupid!"

Milly shot him a look, but continued walking. "Whatever. Now look, it's going to get pretty chaotic around here during the battle so you'll have to take care of yourself."

Dearka rolled his eyes. "I'm well able to take care of myself, you know. But—hey! What about my mobile suit?"

Milly stopped and turned to look at him. "You mean the Buster. As it originally belonged to Morganraete, they are going to keep it."

His face fell into a pout. It was _his_ mobile suit. He didn't care what Morganraete thought.

To his surprise, Milly said sympathetically, "I'm sorry things turned out this way. Kira was very fond of the Strike. I'm sure you felt the same about the Buster." She turned to continue walking.

Dearka was, once again, struck by this girl. She had shown him kindness and forbearance even though he was the enemy, and sometimes an annoying one to boot. Now here she was, again considering his feelings. She was right. He was very attached to his machine. And she said the _ArchAngel_ was going into battle. He found himself, Dearka Elthman, actually feeling concerned for her safety, and it caused him to do something he never envisioned himself doing. He rushed behind her and grabbed her arm.

She looked back at him in shock and not a little anger.

"Answer me one question," he started. "Are you going to be fighting, too?"

"How dare he!" she thought. He had no right to touch her like this, or to ask that question, as if he was concerned for her welfare.

"Yes, I will be fighting," she retorted. "I am a crewman of this ship and Orb is my home. I'll die defending it if I have to." With that she jerked her arm away and began walking towards the bridge.

"The way out is to your right," were her last words to him.

He watched her disappear down the hallway. He fought the urge to follow her. After all, freedom was not something he was about to throw away. "I guess that's it, then. I'll probably never see her again," he thought as he turned to leave the ship. The thought saddened him a little.

He was given civilian clothes to change into and his first steps outside were wonderful. It was really great to be free. He breathed in the sea air and let it out with a sigh.

"I suppose I should try to find a way to contact Carpentaria and let them know where I am," he thought aloud. He watched as they towed the Buster into one of the Morganraete hangars. He turned around and began walking while he considered his options. "I don't suppose I could try to steal the Buster back. No, I'm not armed so it could be difficult getting into the base. And even if I _did_ get Buster back, he wouldn't help me too much. He can't fly in Earth's atmosphere and I don't have a Guul." He sighed and continued walking. A solution was sure to present itself if he waited long enough.

He found his thoughts drifting to a certain natural girl on board a certain ship. Their encounters had been so few, but they had impacted him so much. He thought back to the fateful meeting in the infirmary. His hand touched the small scar on the left side of his head. He thought of her apology later, and her bringing his food at mealtimes. She was so pretty, but it was more than that. Kindness and sweetness shone out of her eyes, those beautiful eyes.

"Her eyes are sad, too" remarked the imp in his mind. "She still misses her boyfriend. Were you hoping to help her get over him?" it chuckled. Dearka was trying to think of a good comeback, when he heard the first sounds of battle. He rushed along the road to get a better look over the water. There was the legged ship, engaged in battle against Earth Forces.

"Miriallia," he whispered. He turned around, but then stopped.

"No, no, wait!" he thought, pummeling his head with his fists. What was he doing? Was he seriously considering going into battle for a _girl_? And a natural girl, at that? And one who had tried to kill him? And…and….and…

The imp in his mind chuckled at his protests.

Dearka gave up. Clenching his fists, he nodded and ran towards Morganraete. He would find a way to get to the Buster. "Besides," he thought, "the Earth Alliance is my enemy and that's who I'll be fighting. So there's no problem joining with the legged ship."

A/N: Please continue to read and review. I'll try and have the next chapter up ASAP.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Takes place during Phase 39. Miriallia overhears Kira say that Athrun killed Tolle. Dearka witnesses her reaction and tries to offer some comfort. Let the story continue…..**

"_If I killed Athrun, would that bring Tolle back?"_

"_No," Dearka said softly._

"_Then don't say anything like that again. Just leave me alone."_

_She ran away with tears streaming down her face._

"_Hey, wait!" he called out. Then he ran after her._

Milly was too distraught to realize that he was following her. She ran blindly, not caring where she was going. She ran until she reached the fence at the edge of the base. It was too high to climb and there were no openings big enough for her to squeeze through. She sank to her knees in despair.

Dearka stopped several feet behind her. He watched her fall to the ground. With a cry that tore at his heart, she began to weep. He wasn't sure what to do now. He didn't want to be insensitive and force his presence on her if she wanted to be alone.

To his amazement she then began to pummel the ground with her hands. Hard. That spurred him into action. "If I don't stop her," he thought, "she could hurt herself."

He walked up behind her slowly so as not to startle her.

Milly was lost in her grief and was not even aware of him until he gently grabbed her hands and held them still. She looked at him in amazement. Her face was red and puffy from running and crying. "What….are…you…doing?" she hiccupped. "Let…. go…. of…. me."

Using a gentle voice but still firmly holding her hands, Dearka replied, "I just didn't want you to hurt yourself. That's all."

"It's….none…of your…business," she retorted, struggling against his hold. "Just…let me go!"

"I will, but only if you promise to not do anything to hurt yourself," he replied, still holding her firmly. Her struggle increased, grief and anger making her violent. She jumped up and tried to pull away. When that didn't work she resorted to kicking.

He was able to dodge a kick to his midsection, but she nearly caught him in the groin.

"I'll have to subdue her before she hurts both of us," he thought. With a quick twist of his arm, he was able to turn her around and pull her in so that her back was to his chest with her arms crossed in front of her. He held her tightly like this until she stopped struggling. Her breathing was heavy and she was furious!

"You have no right to do this. Now let me go," she said a cold voice.

Something snapped inside of him. "No, _you're_ the one who doesn't have a right to do this," he said angrily.

She gasped at his words. He continued, almost shouting. "I understand that you are grieving for someone you loved. But if a girl like you cared so much for him, then he must have been a great guy. He would _not_ want you to waste away because of him. And he definitely wouldn't want you causing harm to yourself, either." Dearka relaxed his hold on her as he felt her body relax slightly.

"No, he would want you to grieve for him and then try to move on. He wouldn't want your life to end with his." With those last words he released her.

She did not move right away. The truth of his words had struck her dumb. As much as she wanted to slap him and tell him he didn't know what he was talking about, she couldn't bring herself to do it. He was right. Tolle was exactly the kind of person Dearka described. She looked at her hands. They were scratched and a little swollen from the beating she had given them.

"These hands," she thought, "are the ones that held his hands; the ones that touched his face. They will never again meet those hands in this life. They will never touch that face again."

She closed her hands and held them to her heart as her eyes filled with tears. Her shoulders racked with sobs.

Dearka was again in a dilemma. Should he leave her alone to cry? She hadn't moved away from him. Should he, maybe, perhaps, hold her?

At the risk of appearing insensitive, he gently turned her around to face him. "Miriallia?" he asked softly.

"What?" she hiccupped, turning her tear-stained face up to his.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

She hesitated, but then, to his surprise, she shook her head. Her hands closed over her face and her sobs began anew. He stood there awkwardly in front of her, waiting. "I guess I'll just stand here in case…..in case she needs me," he thought. "Not that she really needs _me_," he added sadly.

Suddenly, her knees gave out and he caught her in his arms. He lowered them both to the ground. Instead of pulling away from him as he expected, she clung to him tightly, crying against his shoulder. The emotions he felt at that moment nearly overwhelmed him. What was happening to him? Was this what…..love felt like? He didn't know the answer to that question. Very timidly, he wrapped his arms around her. He didn't know if this was love or not. He just held her close to him, and vowed then and there that he would protect her with his very life.

It was some time later when she pulled away. "Will you take me back to the ship?" she asked in a hoarse voice. "Sure," he replied softly.

He led her back to the ship in silence and escorted her to her quarters. She blindly crawled into her bunk and closed her eyes. He stood in the doorway for a moment, unsure of what to do next. In a daring feat, he reached for the blanket at the end of her bed and laid it over her. She did not move. Was she asleep already? He felt those emotions well up inside him again. He knelt beside her bunk and brushed the hair away from her face. "Get some rest," he whispered.

He slowly walked back to the hangar, thoughts jumbling around in his brain. What was going on with him? There was no doubt that he had changed since meeting that girl. The old Dearka didn't care about other people's feelings too much, but here he was comforting a natural girl over the death of her natural boyfriend. And this was a girl that had tried to kill him once. Was it _really_ possible that he was developing feelings for her? That in itself was strange. Sure, he had had girlfriends before back at the PLANTs. But those were just casual dates and he had never thought seriously about any of them. He sighed. He was definitely changing, and he had to admit that the change wasn't all that bad, even if he didn't understand it all.

A/N: I'm such a romantic sucker! Please R & R.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Takes place sometime between Phase 39 and Phase 40.**

Miriallia walked towards the hangar, hoping to find Kira there. She'd had very little chance to talk with him since his miraculous return from the dead. It was such a relief to see him alive!

As she stepped through the door to the hangar, she was surprised to see Kira, Athrun, and Dearka talking nearby. Without knowing why, she quickly hid behind some equipment. She told herself that she wasn't eavesdropping. "I just don't want to interrupt. That's all," she thought. However, that did not keep her from listening to their conversation.

"I can't help but wonder what we're really fighting for," Athrun remarked, sadly.

"Well," Kira began, " why don't you come with me to space? We'll try to find the answer together."

After a brief pause, Athrun and Dearka nodded, both smiling.

"All right," Kira said, with a smile. He turned and began walking away.

Milly made a move to follow him, but stopped when she heard Dearka's voice.

"So…._Commander_ Zala," he said sarcastically.

Athrun didn't even look at him. "Leave it, Dearka," was all he said.

Dearka opened his mouth to offer a sound retort, but he chose not to. Instead, he settled his hands at the base of his neck and looked away.

"So, why _are_ you doing this?" he asked.

Athrun looked at the ground for a moment before answering. He raised his head and looked Dearka in the eye. "There is someone on board who…..is a dear friend of mine. I don't want that person to die."  
Dearka gave a small laugh and dropped his hands from his neck. "Finally," he said, "something you and I can agree on."  
Athrun gave him a puzzled look. "Hmm?"

Dearka reddened slightly, but continued. "I want to protect someone on this ship, too."

His answer took Athrun by surprise. Athrun gave Dearka a small smile and said, "I see. Well, good luck to both of us, then." With that, he left Dearka alone in the hangar.

Milly was puzzled at the conversation she had just heard.

He was doing this because he wanted to protect someone? Who on earth could it be?

"Could it possibly be….me?" she wondered. Shaking her head violently, she thought, "No, no, no. Don't be stupid, Miriallia Haw! Remember you are the one who tried to operate on his head. Why would he want to protect _you_?"

Still, despite her reasoning, the thought wouldn't go away. What surprised her even more was the knowledge that she _wanted_ it to be true.

Wanted it to be true? Could that really be so? She had a vague memory of being in his arms the other day at the fence. She had always been an honest girl, but she could not allow herself to admit that she had liked it, especially not at such a time.

"What is wrong with me?" she mused. "I can't be feeling this way. I'm…I'm probably just tired and stressed-out. Yeah, that's it," she reassured herself.

Feeling more in control, she prepared to follow Kira and stepped out from her hiding place.

And collided with the object of her previous thoughts.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she exclaimed as she tried to remain on her feet. "I…I wasn't paying attention." Dearka put his hands on her shoulders to help steady her.

"No…..uh," Dearka stuttered. "It's ok. I mean, it's not your fault. I wasn't looking either. I'm sorry, Miss…" he trailed off, dropping his arms.

"Uhh……Miriallia," she offered, embarrassed. Had he forgotten her name already? If that was the case, then it made her previous thoughts _more_ than foolish.

"No….I know your name," he quickly assured her. "You said once that I couldn't use your name so I was just trying to be polite and respect your wishes, except I know that I used it the other day and I'm sorry about that but I was just trying to help…." he quickly rambled.

She watched him in amazement as the fast stream of words poured from his mouth. He mistook the look on her face and was about to offer more explanations when she stopped him with a raise of her hands.

"Whoa, slow down," she said with a small smile. After a brief pause, she continued. "I…I don't mind if you use my name."

He breathed an inward sigh of relief. Matching her little smile with one of his own, he replied, "Thank you."

The smile slowly faded from her face and she developed a keen interest in his shoes.

"Oh no," Dearka thought. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Now that you mention it," she began shyly. "Thank you for what you did the other day."

He drew in his breath at her words, but then caught himself. What exactly was she thanking him for? For protecting the ship, or for what happened by the fence?

Feeling a little braver, she raised her eyes to his and continued. "We would have been in big trouble if you hadn't fought with us."

"It was for you. I wanted to protect you," his brain shouted. However, those words never made it to his tongue. Instead, he shrugged and said, "It was nothing."

Her eyes widened. "Nothing?" she asked in a raised voice. "I wouldn't call saving our lives 'nothing.' I really appreciate what you did, especially since you were free to do whatever you wanted. It meant a lot to me and to everyone that you came back to help."

It meant a lot to _her_? He felt pathetically happy at the thought.

"In that case," he said with a little smile, "I'm glad I was there."

He gathered the rest of his courage and continued. "Look," he began, looking into her eyes. "I know we got off to…. an interesting start." He let out a small laugh and she blushed.

"What I'm trying to say….is that I hope you can trust me. I will do everything I can to protect…..this ship."

He had really wanted to say that he would protect her, but his courage was failing him now.

"Thank you," she said in quiet voice, almost as if she understood what he left unspoken.

Neither knew what to say at that point so they stood there in an awkward silence for a moment.

"Well," he finally said, breaking the silence. "I guess I should go check on the Buster."

"Right….of course. And I need to find Kira," she replied with a smile.

Again the awkward silence.

"Right," Dearka repeated and turned to walk away.

Suddenly, before she even realized what she was doing, Milly grabbed his forearm.

Dearka turned around, alarmed at the look on her face. Before he could ask if anything was wrong, she spoke.

"Thank you also for the other day….when I was…upset. That meant a lot to me, too," she said quickly. She reddened slightly as realized that she was holding his arm. As if it had burned her, she let go of it quickly.

Dearka would not have been more surprised if he _had_ caught on fire. "No….no problem," he stuttered.

She backed away from him as if she was afraid.

He noticed the change. "Are you….ok?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes. Thanks again." With that, she whirled around and fairly ran back to her room.

Dearka stared after her, a bewildered look on his face. "What was that about?" he wondered as he walked over to the Buster. "Did I do something to scare her? I don't remember saying anything weird."

He tried not to think about it as he examined the mobile suit's systems. In spite of himself, he smiled. At least he had gotten to talk with her.

And she didn't seem to hate him. That was a plus.

_And_ she had said that she appreciated what he had done.

_And_ she had given him permission to call her by her name.

"Miriallia," he whispered, a silly grin making its way to his lips. Then he suddenly shook his head.

"Pull it together, Dearka Elthman. You are an elite member of the ZAFT forces. Forget about the girl for a few minutes and pay attention to what you are doing. If you want to protect her, then you have to focus on the Buster right now."

Feeling more in control, he focused his energies on updating his systems and making sure all was ready for the next battle.

Milly didn't stop until she reached her quarters. She was never so thankful to have a room to herself!

She sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. "What is wrong with me?" she wondered for the umpteenth time.

"I'm so confused," she cried aloud. "What are these feelings I'm having? Why did I grab his arm? Why? Why? Why?" she asked as her voice escalated.

She stopped and whispered, "Why did Tolle have to die?"

To her surprise, she did not burst into tears as she thought about him. She still felt an intense sadness, but it did not overwhelm her as it had previously.

She sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. Looking at her clock, she realized that she had some time before her shift began.

"A nap is just what I need," she thought. "I'm stressed out from everything that is happening. That's all it is. I just need some rest." After setting the alarm, she laid down and closed her eyes. In no time, she was asleep.

She was walked into the hangar just in time to see Tolle climb into the Sky Grasper. She was running towards him, but no matter how hard she tried, she moved at a snail's pace. She called out to him, to tell him to stop, but no words came from her mouth. He turned towards her in the cockpit, and shot her one of his sweet, confident smiles.

And he launched, his plane shooting out of the hangar.

She continued to run after him, but what she saw next caused her to freeze.

The Sky Grasper suddenly exploded, leaving nothing but flames and smoke. She fell to her knees, screaming out his name.

To her surprise, the smoke and flames cleared, showing a fully intact Sky Grasper. It looped around and headed to the landing dock. Laughing and crying at the same time, Milly ran towards it, hardly noticing how light she felt. In no time she was next to the plane, waiting to welcome her sweetheart back. The cockpit opened and out hopped…….

She gasped in surprise. Gone was the brown-haired, fair-skinned boy. Instead, there was a blonde, tan young man in a red suit. He turned around and she read the word "Enemy" written across his torso.

She wanted to run away, but, instead, found herself being pulled towards the stranger. He was smiling and took her in his arms. She couldn't move.

He opened his mouth to speak…….

"Beep, beep, beep," came from his mouth.

Milly reached over to turn off the annoying sound coming from her clock. With a groan, she sat up in her bunk. It was time for her shift.

A/N: This was one of those chapters that seemed to write itself. Interesting how that happens. Anyway, I won't be able to update for several days because I'm going out of town for Spring Break. But as soon as I get back, I will add to it. Thanks for being faithful.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Takes place during Phase 43 

Dearka floated to the mess hall. As he was now considered an ally and not an enemy, he was allowed to eat with the other crewmembers.

He had seen very little of Miriallia the past few days and was disappointed.

As he carried his tray over to the table and sat down, he reflected that between the preparation and the battles, there really wasn't much time for socializing.

Even so, he couldn't help but wonder if she was avoiding him. His thoughts flew back their encounter in the hangar. He couldn't quite decide what to make of it. First she grabs his arm, and then she practically runs away, as if he had become some kind of monster.

He sighed, and dug into his food.

"All right, Dearka," he thought. "You're a soldier. Think this out logically."

As he chewed his food he began going through their encounters one by one.

Fact #1: You make a stupid remark about her boyfriend and she nearly kills you, but then saves you from being killed by another.

_Fact #2: She offers you the sweetest apology._

_Fact #3: She brings your meals._

_Fact #4: She releases you and offers sympathy when you find out you can't keep Buster._

_Fact #5: She lets you hold her while she cries._

_Fact #6: She thanks you for protecting the ship and for comforting her._

_Fact #7: She doesn't hate you. She gave you permission to use her name. And you were grinning like an idiot on account of that._

He sighed again.

"Report finished," he thought. "Now for conclusions."

Conclusion #1 (Pertaining to Dearka): I am not unaffected by this girl. I've never felt this way about anyone before. The fact that she is a Natural doesn't matter to me, which tells me I have changed. I do like her and……I admit that I want her to like me, too.

He was feeling a little more confident in himself now. "Logic is always the best way to solve a problem," he thought.

Conclusion #2 (Pertaining to Miriallia): She…………She……….

Logic came to a crashing halt. He found himself unable to make any conclusions on Miriallia's part. He just could not be sure how she felt about him.

For the third time, Dearka sighed, the thought depressing him.

His inner debate was interrupted by two of the crewmen, Romero and Chandra. "Anybody sitting here?" they asked, referring to the seats across from him.

"Uhhh, no," he replied intelligently.

They joined him and tried to begin a conversation. Inwardly, Dearka rolled his eyes. He really wasn't in the mood to make small talk, _but_ he didn't want to look like an egomaniac, so he tried his best to be polite.

It was at that moment that Milly walked into the mess hall. She immediately spotted Dearka talking with the crewmen. She was a little surprised that he would associate with them, but strangely pleased that his ego was not quite that big. She did not even allow herself to wonder why that pleased her.

As if he felt her watching him, Dearka looked up and saw her staring at him. He reddened slightly and turned back to the crewmen.

"Keep it together, girl," she thought as she took her tray. Now began the agonizing decision of where to sit. Should she sit with him? Every encounter flashed through her mind. She reddened as she remembered clinging to him as she cried back on Orb. And when she grabbed his arm in the hangar. _What, oh what was going on with her?_ She felt so confused and, truth be told, a little guilty. What was she doing, clinging to another guy like that? She thought of her dream and of the hours she had spent trying to decipher it.

Romero broke through her thoughts. "Hey Miriallia, are you lost? You've been standing there forever. Come sit over here with us."

She started at his voice and immediately looked at Dearka.

Dearka's eyes met Milly's and he nodded slightly, a small smile on his handsome face. Hesitating for a second, Milly walked over and sat down. She did not look up at him again.

His smile faded. It was obvious to him that she did not want to talk to him right now.

"So I was right," he thought. "She was avoiding me."

After a few moments of listening to Romero's chatter, he decided to try and talk to her. Of course he would have to get her alone somewhere. It's not the kind of thing you talk about in front of other people. He wasn't going to force anything on her, but he wanted to at least _attempt_ to tell her how he felt. Perhaps when these two guys left, he would have a chance.

Milly had taken three bites of her food when the captain's voice was heard. "All personnel: Level 1 Battle stations!" Chandra and Romero jumped up and ran to the bridge. Dearka and Milly were left in the mess hall alone. This was his chance!

"Miriallia," he began, but he was cut off.

"I have to get to the bridge," she said. "And you have to get to the hangar and prepare for launch." With that, she ran out of the room.

"Darn it," he thought, as he floated to the hangar. He slipped into his suit and climbed into the Buster cockpit. With an expert hand, he immediately began checking the controls and the power. He switched on his communication screen and was startled to see Milly's face.

"Idiot," he thought, "you knew that she was in charge of communications."

"What is your status?" she asked.

"Buster is ready to launch," he replied.

"All mobile suits are ready for launch, Captain," Milly said.

Dearka knew that now all he had to do was wait for the Captain's command. Moments later it came. Milly's face appeared onscreen again and said, "Buster…..launch!"

He looked at her and gave a small salute. Then he was off.

Milly felt strangely touched by his gesture, but now was not the time to think about that.

A/N: Well, there it is. Not my best, but for some reason I just wasn't _feeling_ it as I worked on it. Oh well. Win some, lose some. Please R&R, as always.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I realized that I never put that all-important disclaimer at the beginning. I don't own anything related to Gundam Seed. There, now that it has been said, let the story continue…..   
Occurs sometime after Phase 43 and before Phase 46 

It was near midnight and her shift was over. Milly floated back to her quarters, eagerly awaiting the feel of the bed beneath her tired body. As she turned the corner, she was surprised to see Dearka floating towards her. He was just as surprised to see her. They stopped in the hallway, an embarrassed silence between them.

"Are you…are you just getting off?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she said. "I was just heading to bed. I'm…I'm really tired after everything."

"Right," he replied. After a pause, he added, "Well, I won't keep you. Get some rest."

His last sentence caused her to look up at him. She had heard him say that before. She had never revealed that she was awake when he covered her with the blanket. She had felt him brush her hair away from her face and whisper those words. Just thinking of it caused her heart to pound.

"Why is my heart beating so fast? I'm still in love with _Tolle_, not this guy," she thought.

Milly didn't realize that she had been staring at him during this time. He shifted uncomfortably. "Is anything wrong?" he asked.

Breaking out of her reverie, Milly stammered, "No…no. Nothing's wrong. Good night." With that she quickly reached for the moving belt and left him in the hallway. He watched her go, with a heavy heart. "It was like she couldn't wait to get away from me," he sighed.

"Get it together, girl," she told herself as she floated away. "How can I be attracted to him? He's the enemy….or at least….he _was_ the enemy." She sighed. She did not understand.

It was so tempting to go to bed and just forget about it in sleep, but she was afraid of what she might dream. So instead of going to her quarters, she turned right to the Observation Deck. Here, she was provided with a fantastic view of outer space, the beauty of which seemed to calm her a bit.

"All right, Miriallia Haw," she thought. "We are going to hash this thing out right now."

She thought of the rage that had incited her to almost kill him.

She thought of the guilt and sorrow she felt when apologizing to him.

She thought of the compassion that caused her to take him food.

She thought of the irritation he caused her by calling her "sweet face."

She thought of the sympathy she gave him about his mobile suit.

She thought of the anger she felt towards him when he grabbed her arm.

She thought of the amazement she felt when she saw him defending the _ArchAngel_.

She thought of her fury when he came upon her at Orb.

She thought of how he had yelled at her, telling her to not lose herself in grief, but to continue with life.

She thought of how she had clung to him like a child as she wept.

She thought of the shame and guilt she felt later at taking pleasure in his embrace.

She thought of their conversation in the hangar. He wanted her to trust him.

She thought about him replacing Tolle in her dream.

"Is that how I think of him? As Tolle's replacement?" she thought.

That simply couldn't be so. She hardly knew this guy. But she couldn't deny that she was drawn to him somehow.

"Just like in the dream," she thought with a wry smile.

"I wish there was someone I could talk to about this," she thought, sighing out loud.

She jumped at the sound of Sai's voice interrupting her thoughts.

"Mir, what are you still doing up?" he asked, concern written on his face.

"Hey, Sai," she said, giving him a little smile. "I….just wasn't ready to go to bed yet," she continued. He was the only one who called her Mir instead of Milly. At least he was the only one _now_ who called her that. She stopped herself from thinking of the person who gave her that pet name.

Sai stood beside her and saw the smile fade from her face. He looked out the window and said, "Wow. It's amazing to see so many stars, isn't it?"

The question struck her as odd. Since when did Sai stargaze?

Turning towards him with a curious look, she asked, "Sai, is there something you want to talk about?"

"Huh? Uh…no. Why do you think that?" he stammered as his face reddened slightly.

A soft smile found its way to her lips. "Sai, you're my friend, and I know you pretty well," she said gently. "If there is something you want to talk about, all you have to do is ask. You should know that," she said giving him a gentle shove.

His face relaxed into a smile and he adjusted his glasses. "Thanks, Mir. I guess……I just wanted to know…..how are you doing?" he finally said.

She turned back to the window. "I'm fine, Sai. I'm doing fine."

Sai looked at her closely and then laughed. She looked at him in surprise.

Still smiling, he leaned in closer to her. "Let me remind you that I _am_ your friend, just as you said. And _you_ should know that you can tell me what you really feel," he said, giving her the same playful shove.

She laughed, enjoying the feeling of actual _laughter_ again.

But then she grew serious. "I'm doing okay, Sai." She paused and drew in her breath. "I'm still dealing with Tolle's death, but I think the worst of it is past. I still feel very sad when I think about him, but……well, I'm not bursting into tears all the time."

She looked at him. "Does that make sense?" she asked.

He nodded, and then started looking uncomfortable. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, as if having second thoughts.

"Sai," she began, "is there something else you want to ask me?"

He let out a frustrated sigh. "Yes, there is. I just……don't know how to ask it."

She turned his shoulders so that he faced her. "Are you afraid I'll be angry?" she asked.

"Yes," he answered, turning red.

"Sai Argyle, ask me the stupid question before I _do_ get angry," she pressed.

"Aww, Mir……It's just…….I just…….." he stammered.

"Out with it!" she shouted.

Taking a deep breath, Sai blurted out, "Is there anything between you and that ZAFT pilot?"

Her eyes widened in utter shock. She never saw that question coming.

"Why would there be anything between me and the ZAFT pilot? He's the one who killed Tolle, remember? Why would you even think that, Sai?" she asked incredulously.

"No, not him. The other guy. Dearka," Sai replied, frustrated.

"Oh," she replied. After a pause she gave a wan smile. "He's been fighting with us for a while, so I guess I kind of forgot for a moment that he _is_ a ZAFT pilot."

"Well that's what he _is_, Mir. And I'm not asking this because I want to pry into your business, but because I'm worried about you," Sai said, still frustrated which caused his voice to escalate. He hated having to talk about this, but he felt it was necessary.

Milly paused, collecting her thoughts. "Sai, tell me _why_ you would ask me such a question," she said calmly.

Sai drew in his breath as if the action would help ease his discomfort.

"I've seen the way he looks at you. He's not being disrespectful or anything, but I can tell he's interested in you, which is kind of weird, considering what happened in the infirmary," he said.

Milly smiled. "Sai, I can't help how he looks at me. Maybe you should take that up with him," she said and she turned to leave.

"It's not just him," Sai called after her.

She turned around. "Huh?"

"Mir," he started and then sighed. "I've seen you looking at him, too."

Shock and embarrassment registered on her face.

He walked closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Like I said, I'm not asking out of curiosity. I…..I'm worried about you, that…… maybe you are trying to fill the emptiness with someone else," he said gently.

"Well it's none of your business!" she lashed out.

Immediately she repented upon seeing the hurt in his face.

Her shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry, Sai. I didn't mean that. The truth is….I've been struggling with that myself."

"Huh?" he asked. "What do you mean, Mir?"

She was silent for a moment, thinking. "I don't want to burden Sai with this. But he _is_ my friend. I know I can trust him and I need to talk to _someone_," she thought desperately.

She looked at his concerned face and made her decision.

She found herself telling him all that had happened between Dearka and herself, including the dream. He listened quietly, asking only a few questions here and there.

When finished, she said, "I don't know what to think, Sai. At times I feel guilty, that I'm not being faithful to Tolle. But then I think 'He's dead!'" She paused for a moment. "Should I be faithful to a dead person?" she cried out.

Sai looked at her sympathetically. "I wish I had the answers to give you, Mir. But I don't."

He, once again, looked out the window to the stars. "But, I know you. You're a smart girl with a big heart." He turned his face toward her with a smile. "And I know you'll choose the right path, because that's how you are."

"But Sai, what do I _do_? I don't _know_ the right path," she said sadly.

"The only advice I can give you, Mir, is this: Take it one day at a time. There's no need to rush anything. If you're meant to be with this ZAFT….I mean, with Dearka, then it will happen in time."

She reflected on this for a moment. "One day at a time…." she thought.

Looking up, she smiled. "Thanks, Sai."

His smile back to her was warm and caring. "Anytime, Mir. That's what friends are for. And speaking as a friend, you need to go get some sleep," he said as he gave her a push towards the hallway.

She laughed, feeling lighter, as she floated towards the hallway. "Thanks for being there for me, Sai. I'll see you later," she said as she grabbed the moving belt.

"Good old Sai," she thought as she entered her room. She quickly prepared for bed and fell asleep almost immediately.

She was walking in a field with Tolle, Kira, and Sai. It was a beautiful day with plenty of sunshine and a cool breeze. Kira and Sai walked on ahead, leaving Tolle and Milly by themselves. She was holding his arm and laughing at something he had said. He sat her down by a tree and told her to wait. He ran away, but came back quickly. He held in his hands the loveliest flower she had ever seen.

"Oh Tolle!" she exclaimed. "It's beautiful. What is it called?"

"It's called a buster," he replied, placing it in her hands. "It's yours now. Take care of it and it will grow even more beautiful, just like you."

He bent down and kissed her forehead.

"Now let's go find Kira and Sai," he said. Hand in hand, they ran off over the field.

Milly awoke from her sleep several hours later, feeling refreshed. She could barely remember her dreams, but for some strange reason, she felt more at peace than she had in a while. She quickly showered and dressed and made her way to the mess hall.

"One day at a time….." she told herself.

A/N: Thanks for being patient. Please R&R. And please, if you feel I could do something better, please let me know. I'm always looking to improve my writing. Thanks for being faithful.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I do not own Gundam Seed**

**Takes place during Phase 46**

She stood at the entry of the mess hall, hesitating. Dearka was sitting in there by himself, his head bent. There seemed to be so much sadness in his face. She considered walking on by, but compassion won and she walked through the doorway. She sat down in the seat across from him. He looked up at her. There was no humor in his eyes now. Only sadness. They sat this way for a few moments, silent. He let his head fall back down. Moved by pity, Miriallia spoke. "War is awful," she said in a soft voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is," he replied slowly. He once again raised his head to look at her. "The _Vesalius_ was my ship. There were a lot of good men on her." He lowered his eyes to the table. "I can't believe she's gone. I can't believe they are gone."

Miriallia let out a sigh. "I understand. Believe me, I do."

He eyes met hers and he replied, "Yeah. I know you do."

Again, moments of silence passed between them.

Suddenly, Dearka slammed his fists onto the table, startling her. "But why? Why did they have to die? Why did any of this have to happen?" he yelled. She was taken aback by his sudden violence, but she understood his feelings, perhaps better than he did.

With gentleness she replied, "I have asked myself that question so many times. 'Why did Tolle have to die?' " She paused. "I haven't found the answer yet. I may never know. Perhaps we're not meant to know. But it's all the more reason to stop this war…..before more have to suffer for it."

"Before more suffer…" he repeated, quietly. She waited for him to speak again. When he did not, she got up to leave. As she rose from the table Dearka reached across to cover her hand lightly with his. The contact surprised her, but she was not offended. He looked up at her face and said softly, "Thank you."

With a small smile, she replied, "You're welcome." He removed his hand, crossed his arms on the table, and laid his head down.

Milly turned to go, but as she did so, she caught the faintest movement of his shoulders. She turned back and watched him. It was very faint, but his shoulders were moving. It was almost as if…… Understanding flooded over her. He was crying!

Her first instinct was to leave quietly and let him alone, but she hesitated. "Does he want to be alone?" She thought back to the day at Orb. She had run away to cry and Dearka ran after her. "There were times when I wanted to grieve alone," she admitted, "but then there were others when I wished that someone would hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok. Dearka was there for me. But…..what should I do now?" she thought.

After another moment, she softly walked over to him and sat beside him. Timidly, she wrapped her arms around him and whispered, "It's all right, Dearka. Everything will be all right."

Surprised, he sat up, but he did not try to hide his tears. He looked at her. She was so close and she had such a caring look on her face. Without realizing what he was doing, he drew closer, laid his head on her shoulder, and let his tears flow freely. She tightened her arms around him and rocked gently, as if rocking a baby.

As she did so, her own tears began to fall. Dearka noticed this and wrapped his arms around her waist. In this way, they both cried together, his head on her shoulder, her head resting on top of his. There was no romance in the situation. Indeed, romance was the farthest thing from their minds at the moment. They were just two young people caught in grief, each one merely trying to comfort the other.

Minutes passed by thus, before they broke apart. Without a word, Milly walked to the counter and retrieved a few napkins. She tossed a few to Dearka, who looked at her questioningly.

"What's this for?" he asked in a slightly amused tone.

"It's for your face, genius," she said with a wry smile. "It's a bit of a mess, as I'm sure mine is."

"Your face isn't a mess," he replied softly, with the slightest of red tinged on his cheeks. His own daring amazed him!

For Milly, it was too dangerous of a comment to reply to, so she remained silent.

Clearing her throat, she proceeded to smooth her skirt and then ran her fingers through her hair.

The knowledge struck him like a fire bolt. He knew at that moment that he loved this girl. _He truly and for real loved her_. It was as if her simple movements had flipped a switch inside him.

Milly noticed that he was, again, staring at her.

But rather than upbraiding him, she intercepted his gaze.

Amethyst met sapphire.

Noticing that his eyes were still a little red from weeping, she smiled softly.

"I probably should go report for duty," she said as she started walking to the doorway.

He stood and said, "Right, I should probably go check on Buster."

She paused at the door, turned around and saw him looking at the floor.

"Will you be all right?" she asked.

He looked towards her and gave one of his cocky laughs. "Yeah, I'll be fine."

"I'm serious, even if you're not," she retorted.

His eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm sorry," he said as he walked towards her. "But I _will_ be all right." He stopped in front of her.

"I'm sure you will," she began with a smile. "You're an elite soldier of ZAFT, isn't that right? Well, you're also still just a person, and people have feelings that must be dealt with."

"Well, thanks, but don't worry about me. I'll get over this in time, just like you've gotten over Tolle," he said with a smile.

He was completely unprepared for her reaction.

"Excuse me?" she whispered. Her eyes narrowed and he immediately recognized the anger building inside of her, having been on the receiving end of it several times already.

"What?" he asked, fearing the answer.

"You presume way too much to think you know me that well," she fumed. "I am _not_ 'over Tolle,' as you so callously put it. My gosh, as if I was 'over' a cold, or something!"

"I….I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't mean….."

"Just stop!" she yelled.

She took a few moments to calm down and catch her breath.

Dearka felt completely at a loss. Things were going so well between them and now she was furious! He had to try and fix it.

"Miriallia," he began, but she cut him off.

"Don't talk to me right now," she said as she walked through the doorway.

He wasn't about to let it end that way. He followed after her.

"Will you just wait a minute?" he asked.

"Leave me alone!" she exclaimed as she grabbed the moving belt.

He was left floating in the hallway.

"Idiot!" he exclaimed as he punched the wall. The force of it sent him ramming into the opposite side of the corridor.

Coordinator or not, he was still no match for an immovable wall. He rubbed his back where he collided and reflected on what had just transpired.

"Dearka, you are a fool," he said to himself. "You got cocky and look what happened. You assumed that she was over him because she held you. Dumb, dumb dumb!" he said as he pummeled his head.

Sighing, he let his arms fall to his side. "Have I completely ruined any chance with her," he wondered aloud.

She avoided him for a while after that, but not because she was angry with him. She was angry with herself.

"I had no right to yell at him like that," she thought. "He didn't do anything wrong. _I'm_ the one to blame. I must have given the impression that I was over Tolle."

She thought back to her conversation with Sai.

"_Sai, I can't help how he looks at me. Maybe you should take that up with him," she said and she turned to leave. _

"_It's not just him," Sai called after her._

_She turned around. "Huh?"_

"_Mir," he started and then sighed. "I've seen you looking at him, too."_

She sighed.

Later, as she prepared for bed, she thought more about it.

"If Sai picked up on that, then Dearka probably did, too. I mean, I was kind of _familiar_ with him in the mess hall. But I wasn't trying to act like a girlfriend. I just….wanted to comfort him."

She tried to let her thoughts rest there, but, of course, they would not obey.

"Why did you want to comfort him?" they asked.

"Because he looked sad. I'm not heartless!" she replied.

"No," Sai's voice echoed in her head. "You have a big heart. A heart that is meant to love someone."

"Who do you love?" her thoughts sang in her head.

"Tolle," she thought sleepily.

"Who do you love?" they continued to sing.

"Tolle," she answered and then drifted to sleep.

She and Tolle were standing in a room. The atmosphere was festive, with food and decorations and a roaring fire. Children were dancing in a circle around them. They were chanting something, but she couldn't quite make it out.

Tolle turned towards her. "Would you like some punch, Mir?" he asked.

She nodded. She didn't want to speak because she was still trying to make out what the children were singing.

He left the circle and returned moments later with her drink. She took a small sip and spat it out.

"Tolle, what is this?" she exclaimed. "It tastes awful. It's too bitter!"

He laughed. "Of course it's going to taste bitter if you just take small sips. Take a big gulp and you'll find out that it is actually sweet."

She looked doubtful.

"Trust me," he said, and pushed the cup towards her.

She raised the cup to her lips and took a big gulp.

Her eyes lit up! He was right! It was the sweetest thing she had ever tasted!

As she looked around, she noticed that the circle of children had closed around them. She could finally hear what they were chanting.

"Who do you love? Who do you love? Who do you love?" they chanted over and over.

As they sang, the circle became smaller and smaller, stifling her.

She turned to Tolle with fear in her eyes.

He smiled. "Big gulps, Mir. Take big gulps."

She took another drink and another. Each time she drank, the circle moved further away. She finally drained her cup and saw that the circle had broken. The children were off doing other things.

She felt a tug on her skirt and looked down. One of the children was handing her a box wrapped in festive paper.

"What is this?" she asked, bending down to the child.

"That man told me to give it to you," the child replied, pointing to Tolle.

She opened the package to find a miniature mobile suit, green in color.

She looked at him, confused.

Tolle planted a kiss on her head. "It will protect you," he said. "There is more punch when you're ready for it. Just remember to take big gulps."

A/N: Just FYI, there will probably only be one more chapter in this fic. I was planning to do more, but they started evolving into more of an after-the-anime fic, so I'm going to run with that. Please R&R as always. Thanks.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I cannot apologize enough for not having updated in so long. Sometimes it's no fun being an adult—responsibilities step in and there goes your free time. Well, enjoy. Warning: it could get very fluffy down at the end. Be prepared. Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed! Takes place after Phase 50 

_Just FYI, Yzak docked with the ArchAngel after the final battle._

A cease fire was agreed upon between the two warring sides.

"_ArchAngel_ acknowledges the cease fire. We will wait at these coordinates for further information," said Captain Romius to the ZAFT and Earth Forces leaders.

To the crew, she ordered, "All hands may step down from Level 2 Battle Stations to Level 1 Watch." With that, she let herself float back to the main door and exited the bridge.

Kira had been found. Athrun and Cagalli had taken him back to the Eternal, back to the waiting arms of Lacus Clyne.

Milly took a deep breath and relaxed into her seat. The tensions of the last battle had left her exhausted.

She glanced up at Dearka who was still standing by her chair. A small drip of blood was seeping from underneath the bandage on his forehead.

"You should have that properly taken care of, now that the battle has ended," she said softly.

"Huh?" was his intelligent reply. Then he reached up and felt the slight stickiness that had escaped from his wound. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "It's just a scratch."

"Still, scratches can become infected," Sai broke in, quietly.

"Sai's right," Milly stated. "It wouldn't hurt to make sure it was properly cleaned and bandaged."

He couldn't argue with her. With another shrug of his shoulders, he turned and left the bridge.

Sai glanced over at Mir and said, "I know you're exhausted. Why don't you go rest now, and I'll take the first watch."

She was about to protest when he pushed her out of her chair towards the door.

"Just accept my generosity, ok?" he said with a smile.

She opened her mouth to protest again, but then found herself stifling a yawn.

"All right, Sai, just wipe that know-it-all look from your face," she said with a grin. "And make sure you call me for the second watch."

"Good night, Mir," he replied.

She sighed and exited the bridge. She couldn't deny that she was tired. A few hours of blessed sleep would be marvelous.

She was passing the mess hall when she recalled her angry words to Dearka. Really, she had to admit that she seriously overreacted. Her bed was calling to her, but she couldn't shake the injustice of her words.

"I'll have to go apologize," she thought and headed to the infirmary.

The last thing Dearka expected to see was a lovely brunette waiting for him outside the infirmary.

"Dearka," she began, with her head bent down. "May I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," he said. He stood there waiting, rejoicing in the fact that she wanted to talk to him.

She looked uncomfortable. "Would you…..would you mind if we went somewhere else?" she asked, raising her head.

Again, amethyst met sapphire.

"As if I could deny you anything," he thought. What he said out loud was, "Sure. Lead the way."

She turned and grabbed the moving belt. He did likewise.

They stopped at the observation deck. He followed as she floated to a window.

She did not speak right away, but stood looking at the stars.

"There are so many of them," she finally said.

"Huh?" he responded. He followed her gaze and realized what she was talking about.

"Oh, yeah. I guess."

He waited for her to speak again, but she remained silent.

Feeling somewhat courageous, he broke the silence and said, "So…Miriallia…what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Well," she said quietly.

He waited for her to continue.

"Dearka, I…." she began, but then paused. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, as if the action would help her.

She finally looked at him with remorse in her eyes. "I am _so_ sorry for what I said to you."

"For what you said to me?" he asked, confused, thinking she was talking about telling him to "Take care" before he launched.

"You know, back at the mess hall," she said, lowering her head.

"Oh," he said, relief flooding over him. At least she didn't regret him coming back alive!

"And I'm sorry for upsetting you. I didn't mean to," he added, his eyes widening for emphasis.

"I know you didn't," she replied, raising her head again. "I knew it right then, but I…..I guess I snapped…..again."

She smiled ruefully. "I guess I sometimes have a bit of a temper."

He was silent for a moment, but then broke into a laugh.

"What's so funny?" she asked, feeling foolish.

He smiled good-naturedly. "At least you didn't have a scalpel this time."

She reddened slightly, but his smile was contagious. Before she knew it, she was giggling.

"Lucky you," she remarked with a smile.

They shared a laugh, but then Dearka grew serious.

"Uh, Miriallia, can I ask you a favor?

"A favor?" she replied. "What is it?"

He took her hands in his, stunning her. What was he going to ask her?

"Please, Miriallia," he began, "please do not tell _anyone_ that you saw me crying."

Her eyes widened and the corner of her mouth turned up slightly.

"Well," she began, removing her hands from his and taking hold of the moving belt, "that depends on who asks me." She began to float away.

He was stunned for a moment and then realized she was playing with him. Grabbing the belt, he followed.

"What do you mean, it depends on who asks?" he called out.

She flashed a grin back at him and his heart soared!

After witnessing this exchange, a young man with silver hair floated silently back to his quarters.

"At least they were civilized enough to provide me with a room," Yzak thought.

The past few hours were enough to make him admit that Naturals were not bad or evil, even if they were still inferior. That in itself was a huge concession for him to make. And it seemed that his best friend had made that same concession, but was taking it farther than Yzak would ever dream of going. He knew his friend, and it was obvious that Dearka had fallen in love with a Natural!

Peace talks were concluding. It seemed that the war was finally over. The _ArchAngel_, the _Eternal_, and the _Kusanagi_ returned to a battle-stricken Orb. After finding a suitable hangar, the crew of those fine ships disembarked and gathered together.

Kisaka urged Cagalli forward.

"Citizens of Earth and the PLANTs: You are all welcome here," she began.

She stole a look at Athrun, who nodded his encouragement.

"Portions of Orb are destroyed, but the Imperial home has been spared. I am…that is…you are all to come to my home this evening. Together we will celebrate our victories….and mourn our losses," she announced.

Captain Romius stepped forward. "I thank you on behalf of the _ArchAngel_ crew. Those who are willing shall be there," she said.

Lacus Clyne also stepped forward. "The crew of the _Eternal_ shall be there also. We do have much to celebrate….and to mourn."

At her words Milly lowered her eyes. Dearka noticed the movement and saw the sadness fill her face. In his boldest move yet, he reached out and took her hand.

His touch startled her and she glanced at him standing beside her. He returned her look and gave her a gentle smile. She gave a faint smile in return and gently squeezed his hand before walking back to the ship. Dearka stared after her, watching her go.

"I think I finally get it," a voice said behind him. Dearka turned to see Yzak standing behind him.

"You finally get what?" Dearka asked.

"I kept asking myself _why_ you would switch sides. I _know_ what you said about not wanting to kill all Naturals, which was a noble gesture and all, but it still didn't make much sense to me then. But I understand now," Yzak continued. He narrowed his eyes. "You're in love with that Natural girl, aren't you?"

Dearka shot a glare at his best friend. "So what if I am?" he asked as he turned to walk back to the ship.

"You're a fool, Dearka," Yzak called after him. Dearka made no motion to turn around. He continued to walk to the ship.

A few minutes later, Yzak came upon Dearka in the locker room. Leaning against the wall, Yzak asked, "I suppose you're planning to attend their little party tonight?"

"Why not?" replied Dearka in a low voice. "I have reason to celebrate, too, don't I?"

"When do you plan to leave for Carpentaria?"

"Tomorrow."

"Hmph. You realize that you will face trial for desertion, don't you?"

"Yes."

"You could face execution if they find you guilty."

"Yes, I know."

Yzak slammed his hand against the wall. "Why are you being so calm about this?" he demanded.

Dearka looked at him. He was quiet for a moment before he responded with a sigh. "I'm not the guy I used to be, Yzak. I don't expect you to understand. I know that I have to go through court martial. I know that my life could end because of that." He paused before continuing. "I also know that I don't regret any of the decisions I made," he said calmly.

Yzak's eyes widened. After a few moments of silence, "You…you must really love this girl," he said in amazement.

"Yeah," Dearka began, "I do love her. I swore that I would protect her with my very life and I have done that." Again, he paused. "If the payment has to be made, then so be it," he added with a little smile.

Yzak was silent for a few moments. It was true that his friend had changed. Then he walked closer to him and placed his hand on Dearka's shoulder. "Tell me something. Does she love you?"

He watched his friend's face fill with uncertainty.

"I don't know," Dearka replied. "There are times when I think she cares for me, but I can't be sure."

"You're not sure?" Yzak asked incredulously. "You risked your life, for a Natural girl no less, and you don't know if she cares two straws about you?"

"It's complicated, Yzak," he replied shaking his head. "Her boyfriend was killed not too long ago. She's still mourning for him. But, I….I think she could love me. I'm pretty sure she cares for me, at least a little bit," he said, thinking back to his launch before the last battle. She told him to take care. She had held him after the _Vesalius_ was destroyed. "I think…I hope… that once she is able to move past her boyfriend's death she will return my feelings. But it's too soon right now, and I'm not going to rush her," he concluded.

Yzak stared at his friend. "So you want her to love you. But what if the council convicts you and you are executed? Then she'll have to mourn for you, too. Have you thought of that?"

Dearka shrugged. "I have thought of that. That's why I hope the Council decides in my favor."

Yzak put both of his hands on his friend's shoulders and shook his head. "You're an idiot," he started. After a brief pause he continued, "but I will do what I can to help you. And you know, your case isn't all that bad," he continued as his arms dropped to his side. "You could have a good defense, what with Chairman Zala's actions being fresh in the Council's minds. I can speak with my mother, and see if there is anything she can do to help."

Dearka's eyes softened. "You would do that for me?"

Yzak backed away with a sarcastic look on his face. "You may be a moron, but you are still my friend." With that, he left the locker room. Dearka smiled fondly after the stoic pilot and continued to get ready for the evening with a slightly lighter heart.

They were all gathered around the large banquet table. Cagalli stood and lifted her glass in a toast. "To our fallen friends and loved ones," she said. Everyone stood and repeated the phrase, and then drank to their memory.

After the dinner, Milly slipped out to the garden. Dearka followed her. He found her sitting on a stone bench surrounded by rose bushes. With the moonlight shining on her, he thought she looked like an angel.

"Well, Dearka," he thought, "this is your chance. You better take it now."

He stepped towards her. "Miriallia?"

She looked up at him. "Yes?"

"May I…may I sit with you?" he stammered.

She nodded her head and said, "Yes," softly.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Dearka cleared his throat and began. "So, I have to head back to Carpentaria tomorrow."

She turned her head towards him. "Tomorrow?" she asked.

"Yes, I have to return soon, or they really will think that I deserted," he said half jokingly.

"I see. What will happen then?" she asked.

"Well, I'll return to the PLANTs. And then I'll have to face a court martial trial for supposed desertion."

"What if they find you guilty?" she asked, fearing the answer.

He didn't answer right away. He slowly turned his head to face her. "Execution," he answered quietly.

She gasped at his answer, concern written all over her face.

He gave her a little smile. "Hey, don't look like that," he began. "I have a pretty good case, so I doubt they will convict me," he said reassuringly. "After all, I was part of the team that prevented Zala from destroying the Earth. They will take my motives into account. I'll probably just receive a slight punishment."

"What do they consider a 'slight punishment'?" she asked.

He thought for a moment. "It could range. The smallest would be to assign me community service. Or it's possible that they will demote me and I'll have to work my way back up. Or…." he broke off.

"Or what?" she prompted.

"Well, they could prevent me from ever being promoted above the rank of captain." he continued slowly.

"That makes you sad," she observed.

He hesitated before answering. "Well, yeah. That means that I will never be the commander of my own ship, which was a dream of mine," he said softly.

She gasped. Seeing her face, he felt the need to reassure her. "Hey, I knew the cost of my actions and I don't regret what I did," he said with a small smile.

"Then _why_ did you do it? Why did you protect the _ArchAngel_ if you knew the cost?" she asked passionately.

This was the moment. This was when he should tell her how he felt. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn't come out.

Instead he countered her question with one of his own. "Well why did _you_? Why did Kira or Athrun? We all had our reasons. I'm no different." He stood up and walked a few steps away.

Milly stared at his back, waiting.

Dearka put his hand to his neck and rubbed it, as if the motion would help him. "Actually, there was really only one reason," he started, sheepishly. His hand dropped to his side. "It was you," he said simply.

"Me?" she asked, dozens of emotions swirling inside of her at his confession.

Now that he had said it, he felt a little braver. He turned around and faced her. "Yes, you. I…I care about you…a great deal. In fact,….I …..I love you."

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open in amazement. "You do?" she whispered.

He held her eyes with his own. "Yes, I do. I know it seems strange, since we haven't known each other very long, and especially since we got off to a bad start." He lightly touched the scar on his head and smiled.

She smiled, too, but then her face became serious. She lowered her eyes to the ground. "Dearka," she began, "I don't know what to say. To tell you the truth, I don't know how to feel about you." She raised her eyes to meet his. "Part of me still loves Tolle and I miss him terribly…"

Dearka cut her off. "I know, and I'm not…" he started, but Milly cut back in.

"Please let me finish. Part of me cares for you, too." He drew in his breath at her words.

"To be honest," she continued, "I am afraid of those feelings. They came out of nowhere and kept growing and I'm not sure what to do with them." She lowered her head again. "I'm….I'm not quite ready to love again," she concluded.

It was all the encouragement he needed. He stepped towards her and took her hands in his. He used his finger to raise her head. "I know you're not ready. I'm not going to rush you and I'm not going to force you into anything." He lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I just wanted you to know how I felt before I had to leave. And if the worse should happen…" he broke off.

He took a deep breath and continued with a shrug, "…then at least I wouldn't have any regrets."

His casual mention of his possible death moved her deeply. Before she even realized what she was doing, she closed the distance between them and embraced him. He wrapped his arms around her, reveling in her closeness.

"I will probably be gone for a long time," he continued. "Take as long as you need to let your heart heal. Then, maybe….maybe we can start again," he said softly.

She looked up into his eyes. "I think I would like that," she said with a little smile.

He returned her smile. She was so lovely and the temptation was too great. He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't control himself.

"Miriallia, would it be too much to ask if I could kiss you? Just once before I leave?" he asked.

She broke away from him in surprise. She lowered her head, considering his request. She was honest with herself and admitted that she would like to kiss him. But was it right for her to do this?

Dearka felt awful. "Idiot. You're such an idiot, Dearka," he thought.

To Miriallia, he said, "Hey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that. I'm really sorry…."

"Yes," she said, cutting him off.

Dearka was puzzled. "Yes….what?"

She raised her head to look at him and said, "Yes, you may."

"Yes, I may….kiss you?" he asked unbelievingly.

She nodded, allowing a small smile on her lips.

He stood still for a moment, not believing his good luck. Then his face broke out into a smile. "Really? Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked.

That caused a laugh to bubble up from her throat. Dearka thought it was the loveliest sound, hearing her laugh.

"Yes, I'm sure I don't mind. Besides, I wouldn't want any regrets either."

He walked over to her. He slowly lowered his head and gently pressed his lips to hers. They were soft and sweet, just as he knew they would be. To his surprise and pleasure, she began to kiss him back. Her hands timidly wrapped around his waist.

It was as if all the angels in Heaven were singing! If he had any doubts, they were completely erased in this moment. He loved this girl, almost to the point of pain. When he broke the kiss, he looked at her with eyes full of love. She could read his eyes and was touched by what she saw there. He really did love her.

He still held her close to him and he leaned over so that their foreheads were touching. "Thank you for that," he said. "I will carry that with me wherever I go."

She lowered her eyes. "And….you _have_ to go…." she whispered.

"Yes. As you said yourself, I am an elite soldier of ZAFT. I have to give an account for my actions."

"I understand that," she said, breaking the embrace. "Just know that…"

She was interrupted by another voice.

"Dearka, are you out here?" Yzak called, as he walked around the bend. Milly quickly stepped away from Dearka. Yzak stopped when he saw the two of them standing there.

"Oh," he said. "Am I interrupting?"

Dearka scowled at the sarcasm in his voice.

"I'll just leave you two alone," Yzak continued as he turned to walk away.

"Wait, Yzak," Dearka called out. "Come back."

Yzak turned around and walked towards the couple.

"I just came to tell you that arrangements have been made to transport us to Carpentaria tomorrow morning. We leave at 0600 Hours," he said.

"Fine. I'll be ready to go," Dearka replied.

"See that you are," Yzak said as he turned to leave. Dearka's voice stopped him yet again.

"Yzak, this is Miriallia."

To Milly, he said, "That guy is Yzak. He's been my best friend since we were kids," he added with a smile.

Milly reached out her hand to Yzak. "It's a pleasure to meet you," she said softly.

Yzak hesitated briefly before taking her hand. "Likewise," he said.

To Dearka, he said, "I'll see you at 0600. Make sure you're ready; I don't want to have to wait for you," and walked away.

When he was gone, Dearka turned towards Milly. "He likes you," he said grinning.

"Really? I'd hate to see him if he _didn't_ like me," she replied, returning his smile.

They both laughed.

"But really," she started, "how can you tell he likes me?"

"If he didn't, he wouldn't have touched you. He's always been like that. He gives new meaning to the word _elite_," Dearka replied.

Again, they shared a laugh. Laughing together, even for a brief moment, it was as though there was nothing wrong in the world. They were normal teenagers living normal lives.

Dearka couldn't have been happier, for that brief moment.


End file.
